Hey, look. This is stupid.
““The Amish do not carry health insurance. The government respects their principles. Christian Scientists want to heal by prayer alone, and the new health care reform law respects that. Quakers and others object to killing even in wartime, and the government respects that principle for conscientious objectors. By its decision, the Obama administration has failed to show the same respect for the consciences of Catholics and others who object to treating pregnancy as a disease.””
Cardinal-Designate Timothy Dolan
Don’t they make these people go to school? I figured a Cardinal-Designate would have gone to college, taken some critical thinking courses, or logic classes. Or sixth grade public school, which is where I know for a fact that modern Texans learn about analogies.
Analogies are fun! Here’s how they work:
Amish don’t want health insurance. - The Catholics don’t want abortions. = The Amish don’t have to get health insurance. - The Catholics don’t have to get abortions.
Christian Scientists don’t want health care. - The Catholics don’t want abortions. = Christian Scientists are allowed to pray for healing instead of getting science’s medicine. - Catholics are not forced or required to get abortions.
Quakers don’t believe in killing for any reason, even in wartime. - Catholics don’t believe in killing fetuses. = Quakers are allowed to be conscientious objectors. - Catholics are not mandated to terminate their pregnancies.
Those are all GOOD analogies, as opposed to the BAD analogy up above. Let’s try another set, this time from Bizarro World! In Bizarro World, “respecting someone’s beliefs” actually means “unconditionally capitulate to the whims of politically-motivated religious extremists!” This is the Bizarro World that the Cardinal-Designate appears to want. Here we go!
Amish don’t want health insurance. - Catholics don’t want abortions. = The federal government disbands the insurance companies. - The federal government overturns Roe v. Wade.
Christian Scientists don’t want health care. - The Catholics don’t want abortions. = Every hospital gets shut down, every clinic gets bulldozed, doctors are outlawed. - Every abortion clinic is closed for business.
Quakers don’t believe in killing for any reason, even in wartime. - Catholics don’t believe in killing fetuses. = We overturn the Second Amendment, confiscate the weapons, disband the military, and disarm the police. - We let a politically-motivated band of religious extremists dictate what medical procedures a woman can have.
Man, Bizarro World sure is fun! It sounds like the Cardinal-Designate up above wants to live there! He must think that it would be swell if his religious beliefs were more important than everybody else’s religious beliefs. He seems to believe that it is possible to respect one set of religious beliefs by ignoring everyone else’s beliefs. Man, Bizarro World is wacky!
But, let’s try our hands at another set of analogies, this time from the Counter-Bizarro World, where the federal government actually tramples on beliefs the way that the Cardinal-Designate whines about! This is what would happen if the authorities actually did not respect your religious beliefs, as the Cardinal-Designate claims!
The Amish don’t want health insurance. - Catholics don’t want abortions. = Fuck the Amish, they’ll get health insurance when and where the law says. - Mothers-to-be would be compelled to get abortions in cases where it endangers the live of the mother, even if she’s Catholic.
Christian Scientists don’t want health care. - Catholics don’t want abortions. = People would be treated for injuries and illness, even if they’d rather pray to their invisible sky friend. - And, fetuses would be aborted if they were the product of incest, or if they were found to have abnormalities that would prevent them having a healthy, happy life, even if the parents cry about it.
Quakers don’t believe in killing, even during times of war. - Catholics don’t believe in killing fetuses. = Quakers can be drafted like everyone else. - Catholics would not be allowed to birth children if they have already demonstrated themselves to be unfit parents.
Now, Counter-Bizarro World is a pretty dark place, and I wouldn’t want to live there. But, I don’t want to live in Bizarro World, either. Here’s the thing, anti-choice asshole Cardina-Designate: Your beliefs get the same weight and respect as everyone else’s: No less, and usually not more. Your beliefs and feelings are not being attacked by the fact that the government will not overturn legal rulings and condemn millions of women to lifelong suffering.
Here’s a rule of thumb: Nobody who has taken a vow of chastity has a right to say shit about abortion.